Ricky RapsIf your partner was abused as a child there are six crucial things you should always keep in mind…
There are six things to remember when you have a partner who was abused as a child. It’s important to remember that not everyone’s childhood was a positive experience. Having been abused as a child could have a major impact on them well into their adulthood. There are six major things you need to keep in mind with your partner if they’ve been abused as a child. When keeping these six things in mind we should remember to be patient and tolerant of your partner’s circumstances.
#1 They could become reckless or destructive.
Childhood abuse has a lasting impression on people. Sometimes people who were abused as a child may still have behavioral problems as a response. People tend to emulate the actions they saw in their parents as children. Abusive parents can often be overly aggressive. If the abuse from their parents or someone else they trusted involved drugs or alcohol then the degree of recklessness and impulsive behavior could be even higher.
#2 They might have a hard time expressing themselves.
You might notice that sometimes your partner isn’t that great at telling you what’s on their mind or what their needs are. When someone is abused as a child they tend to feel worthless later in life and they may not express their needs appropriately. They might bottle up their emotions and then explode when they can’t keep them in anymore. Overall, people who have endured childhood abuse will have a difficult time effectively communicating with you.
#3 Your partner could have a mental illness.
There are a number of mental illnesses which can be precipitated by childhood abuse. Your partner, whether they’ve been diagnosed or not, could be suffering from a number of mental illnesses which could make their daily life more difficult. Many of the things you need to remember about your partner may even be symptoms of such a mental illness. Keep in mind that your partner may have been impacted by their abuse more seriously than they admit. While mental illness is nothing to stigmatize or be afraid of, you should keep in mind that your partner may be having extra difficulty with their emotional and mental balance and try to be considerate of their struggle.
#4 They might snap at you sometimes.
Someone who has suffered serious abuse as a child may fly off the handle for seemingly no reason. However, what you have to remember is that they have different triggers and mental issues than the average person who had a healthy childhood. Sometimes it is best to remember to be forgiving but to always set boundaries and make it clear that you won’t condone their outbursts. When your partner who has suffered childhood abuse loses it with you it’s good to remember that they are acting out their deeper frustrations and that it isn’t because they don’t love you or they want to hurt you.
#5 They might need professional help.
If you have been dealing with all of these issues and things aren’t getting any better it may be a good sign that your partner needs more help than you can offer them. While there is no magic pill or overnight cure for the deep scars caused by childhood abuse there is still help out there for them. Seeking out the help of a professional marriage counselor, therapist, psychiatrist, or even your general practitioner could be helpful. Sometimes when childhood abuse is severe the only way to help your partner is by helping them seek the help they really need.
#6 They might have trouble opening up.
Your partner may seem detached or withholding if they’ve suffered childhood abuse. Some people find it too painful to talk about their childhood or even how they’re feeling now. It is important to be patient with your partner when trying to get them to open up about how they’ve feeling and be honest about their childhood. Childhood abuse can cause people to put up emotional walls to try to protect themselves from being hurt again and it can take a lot to tear those walls down.