Researchers Reveal The ROOT Of Mom Stress & It's Not The Kids

Nearly half of mothers say that their high stress rate is caused by their husband instead of their children as some people assume…

A TODAY Moms survey of over 7,000 mothers from the United States found that 46 percent of those mothers considered their husbands to be more stressful than their children. According to these women, they are tired of being forced to take care of their husbands in similar ways that they’d take care of their young children. The study also found that the moms who were surveyed also rated their stress level as an 8.5 out of a possible 10. Nearly half of those stressed out mothers attribute their stress directly to their husband or spouse.

TODAY spoke to Deno Fleno, a working mother from New Britain, Connecticut who compares her husband Phil to an additional child. Fleno goes on to explain how not being able to see eye to eye with your partner can be difficult and stressful at times.

Fleno went on to explain her frustration with her husband:

“A 7-year-old is going to be a 7-year-old. But a 35-year-old acting like a 7-year-old is more stressful, because they should know better,”

In addition to mothers feeling like they have to parent their own husbands there is also the problem of having different perspectives and parenting approaches. Deno Fleno, who TODAY says writes a parenting blog, explained how different parenting philosophies and life priorities can lead to stressful and contentious situations too.

Fleno explains how her husband’s laid back approach to parenting can be frustrating:

“We both work full time and we both try to split the childcare, but somehow I’m always freaking out way more than he is,”

While Fleno admits she can sometimes over-analyze or exaggerate the consequences of decisions her children make, she goes on to explain how her husband’s lack of worry can seem troubling at times.

“My husband, obviously he worries about their future, but he doesn’t worry the same way,”

Mothers who have anonymously posted their complaints to the internet have had similar issues. Some of the comments posted from frustrated mothers don’t hold back against their stress-inducing partners.

One mother writes:

“I am exhausted emotionally and physically when my husband comes home. He feels like another job.”

Another woman writes:

“Often times it seems like I am the only adult in my house. My husband and daughter compete with me for my attention.”

Some women feel that their husbands will never give them a moment of alone-time:

“He gets all the time he wants and I get none. I can’t even take a relaxing bath without my husband bringing the baby to me.”

The statistics show that moms are over stressed and over burdened:

The TODAY survey also had some insights as to why mothers stress levels are so high and this too has a lot to do with a Mother’s partner. 75% of moms say they not only do most of the household work but they also take on a majority of parenting duties at home. Then, 20% of mothers say that not having help from their husband is a major source of stress for them every day. This is not uncommon and can even happen in any marriage with children – including gay and lesbian relationships. Therapist Hal Runkel explains that marriage is stressful and that your relationship can often be more difficult than parenting which leads to these stressful dynamics. Next time your stress is through the roof try to consider the true cause of your frustration and recognize how difficult maintaining a marriage can be.